Saturday, November 2, 2013

How to be a "Good Wife": The Queer Edition

 On our wedding day- August 24, 2013

We've been married just a couple months, but we've been together over five years now. I think I've got this wife thing down. But we're a gay couple. We're both wives. There is no husband to be found. While we were engaged, I did frequently refer to my adorable fiance as my "broom" (bride+groom=broom), but on a day to day basis, she's my wife.There was definitely a butch/femme thing going on at our wedding and, you could say there is a bit of that in our daily life as well. But here's the shocking truth; there's not one difference between being a good queer wife and a good straight wife. 

I look for her endearing qualities and recognize just how much joy they bring to our lives. I listen to the ridiculous songs that she sings. I roll my eyes at her stupid jokes. 

I rely on her to do the things around the house that I hate doing, and I do the things that I don't mind. I love to do things for her, cook her meals, bring her little treats. She likes to touch base with me on her way home to see if I need anything.

I appreciate her for being the amazing parent to our son that she is and I dream about watching her with our future children. 

I support her in whatever it is she chooses to do, listen to her when she wants to complain about those choices, cheer her on through her successes and cheer her up about her failures. 

I nag her to take her vitamins, go to the doctor, take the trash out,  pick up her socks. 

It's all very complex and very,very simple. It's a balancing act, a precious precarious balancing act. But I work every day to find my balance and I try my best to love her a little bit more today than yesterday.

Linked up with the Lovely Belinda at Found Love, Now What

1 comment:

  1. This is an awesome post! I hope this doesn't come across as rude or offensive, but I really appreciate reading marriage perspectives from same-sex couples. I wonder if being free from traditional husband/wife structures allows y'all more flexibility to figure out what's best for YOUR marriage, without worrying what other people say. I know that with my boyfriend, I sometimes over-analyze what I do, just to make sure I'm not doing it because I think I'm "supposed to." Regardless of the family dynamic, I appreciate reading from anyone how they make their relationship work. Wisdom is learning from others, right?


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