Tuesday, November 26, 2013


We had an appointment with our reproductive clinic this morning. The doctor that we see is absolutely brilliant. He completed his undergrad at MIT and went to Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. His internship and endocrinology fellowship was done at Harvard.  I mean, this Dr. Brilliant (not his real name) has amazing credentials. His nurse ensures us that no doctor will take better care of us.

During our first few visits with him, I felt like he was going to do everything he could to get me pregnant, and treat my fertility issues aggressively. After our appointment today, I'm not so sure.

My cycles have become more regular in the last six months,which should mean that I'm ovulating. So, Dr. Brilliant has decided that if we want to try after the first of the year, I should track my cycles for a couple months and we will go ahead with an IUI in January; an UNMEDICATED, UNMONITORED IUI. No clomid. No trigger shot. No ultrasound to verify ovulation

(not my uterus. no uteri were damaged in the writing of this post.)
I've been under the impression for the last ten years that my lady parts were in some way damaged and faulty. They don't function properly. I would never be able to become pregnant without the assistance of modern medicine.

So, now, my dysfunctional body is expected to achieve pregnancy with no assistance whatsoever. Because of six maybe functional months.

I'm deeply, deeply disappointed. I want to go at this aggressively. This process costs money! Money that we have worked really hard to earn and to save. I want the absolute best chance possible with each and every cycle.  A medicated IUI with ideal conditions only gives us a 10-12% chance of conception. I'm not letting myself do any further research about the success rates for unmedicated cycles. The one statistic I found was so incredibly disheartening that I cannot bear to look any further.


  1. He may well be the dr, but you're the customer paying his bills. Make some demands! At least back him into a corner and force him to explain what he perceives to be the down side to a medicated cycle. No matter how regular I manage to get my cycles between now and March, I don't think I'm taking no for an answer when it comes to the drugs.

  2. Don't stress or worry too much. My sister was told she was never able to have children, and I now have a 3 year old niece. It'll work out <3 I wish I could give you more words of encouragement but I know these situations are tough sometimes.

  3. All I can offer are prayers of discernment and hope for both you and the doctor(s) as you begin this journey. I wish I could say I know how much this means to you but how I think you feel is most likely miniscule when compared to the hopes and dreams you actually have for a child. May you be blessed as you go through this process and at the end have a wriggling and crying little bundle of joy!

  4. Did he tell you what the plan will be going forward if try #1 doesn't work? How many unmedicated, unmonitored cycles will he want to do? Would he confirm ovulation with a progesterone test?
    I think advocating for yourself is important in this process, and understanding why he feels the way he does, and explaining what you want might mean you all can get to a space that feels good for everyone.
    I know lots of doctors want to take a low intervention method, and there are definitely reasons why clomid (and other meds) suck and shouldn't necessarily be the first try out the gate, but I also think you have some reasonable expectations about being more aggressive.
    Finally, keep in mind that the statistics about ALL fertility treatments are based on heterosexual couples who may have a host of issues going on. Its totally fair for you to ask the doctor what the success rate is for someone with your history and donor sperm - which might be higher than you're able to find on google.
    Good luck - I hope you're able to get the answers that you need. And, of course, you can always go to a different doctor. Degrees from MIT and Harvard don't mean anything if they won't treat you well.


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