Three steps forward, Two steps back.

I actually gained one pound this week.  I'm thinking that it is what is known in the Keto world as P.I.S.S, post-induction stalling syndrome.  My body is just evening out. But it could also be trying to get back in the swing of things after last weeks' cheat day.  I am trying to pay close attention to the effect that "cheating" has on things like stalling my losses and how I feel physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I've already proven to myself that my body functions better when I am limiting my carb intake. It's simply a matter of sugar addiction, emotional eating, and societal influence.  Giving up sugar has honestly been more difficult for me than giving up cigarettes. With cigarettes, there was medication support to get me through the first weeks when the cravings were ridiculously difficult. With sugar/carbs, there's nothing but me and my will power that keeps me from buying a candy bar every time that I stop to get gas or cruising through the McDonald's drive-thru to grab a delicious ice cream treat.  Thankfully, those things haven't stopped me up yet.  Little day-to-day life circumstances have; a tray of cookies at a party, a birthday cake at a pre-preschooler's birthday dinner.

I made much better decisions in both situations, eating only a bite of the birthday cake and 3 cookies opposed to the normal six or seven that I would eaten in the past. But I was still completely incapable to avoid the temptation. I suppose that is an improvement and it's all about small steps in the right direction. I struggled a bit last night with feeling bad about my slow progress, but I must remind myself that any progress is progress- even if it has absolutely nothing to do with the scale.

This blog thing has eluded me for years. There was a time when I blogged daily, multiple times a day even.  I wrote about everything. My life was quite literally out there for anyone who wanted to look for it. And then I had the freedom of writing stolen from me when the entire contents of my LiveJournal was presented (and rejected) as evidence in my custody hearing. Hundreds of entries printed and photocopied and presented in court. Entries I had assumed were safely tucked away from prying eyes because they were marked "friends only".  The story of how that privacy setting was breached is long and sorted and really not as interesting as it would sound. To say the least, it gave me a very strong fear of blogging, or at least of blogging honestly.

And yet, here I am again. Blogging. I love to write. I love the process of developing a post in my head throughout the day and keeping phrases tucked in the recesses of my mind until I have the opportunity to sit down at the computer. I giggle to myself when I'm snapping pictures to go along with a mediocre craft project or a failed attempt at cooking.

Maybe now that I have a stronger sense of boundaries and a less dramatic life, I can feed the little blogging monster in my brain.  I won't be putting it *all* out there this time around, but at least I can put it out there.