How to be a "Good Wife": The Queer Edition

 On our wedding day- August 24, 2013

We've been married just a couple months, but we've been together over five years now. I think I've got this wife thing down. But we're a gay couple. We're both wives. There is no husband to be found. While we were engaged, I did frequently refer to my adorable fiance as my "broom" (bride+groom=broom), but on a day to day basis, she's my wife.There was definitely a butch/femme thing going on at our wedding and, you could say there is a bit of that in our daily life as well. But here's the shocking truth; there's not one difference between being a good queer wife and a good straight wife. 

I look for her endearing qualities and recognize just how much joy they bring to our lives. I listen to the ridiculous songs that she sings. I roll my eyes at her stupid jokes. 

I rely on her to do the things around the house that I hate doing, and I do the things that I don't mind. I love to do things for her, cook her meals, bring her little treats. She likes to touch base with me on her way home to see if I need anything.

I appreciate her for being the amazing parent to our son that she is and I dream about watching her with our future children. 

I support her in whatever it is she chooses to do, listen to her when she wants to complain about those choices, cheer her on through her successes and cheer her up about her failures. 

I nag her to take her vitamins, go to the doctor, take the trash out,  pick up her socks. 

It's all very complex and very,very simple. It's a balancing act, a precious precarious balancing act. But I work every day to find my balance and I try my best to love her a little bit more today than yesterday.

Linked up with the Lovely Belinda at Found Love, Now What

Our Wedding Wines for Wino Wednesday!

Following along with some girls after my own heart, I am going to participate in Wino Wednesdays! Essentially, an excuse to drink wine, write about wine, enjoy wine. I'm good with that!

A year ago in December, we attended the wedding of a darling friend who is the daughter of our darling friend. (The sounds so complex! Basically we're friends with S,the mom, and R, the daughter.) When I went up to the bar to get a glass of wine, I noticed that the wine was home bottled. I mentioned how cool that was to S and how amazing the wine was. Later that night before we left, S informed us that she wanted to bottle all the wine for our wedding as her gift to us! AMAZING! Not only was it the most thoughtful, generous gift, but it saved us a great deal of money and gave us another amazing story to go along with our wedding. 

When S presented us with the cases of wine, I nearly died of heart-splosion! Earlier in the year I had a custom cartoon drawn of our dogs to give to Wendy as a gift, and S had used that drawing to design the wine bottle labels!  

And I present to you, our wedding wines, from Riley & June Vineyards (which you will never find in any fancy wine retailer near you!) 

Fancy Pants White

Landshark Red

Same Love for Musical Mondays

What is Musical Mondays?

Musical Mondays is a weekly linky party where we share a song we're into for the week, and talk about why we like it-or why it effects us.  Miss Angie is also hosting a Giveaway to my favorite album of the year over at My So-Called Chaos. 

So, the Giveaway at Ms. Angie's blog is for The Heist by Macklemore and Ryan Smith. The song that  played after the officiant announced us "officially and legally married" was Same Love. It's become a bit of an anthem for gay marriage, I know.  And at first I was worried about how overused and cliche it probably will become for weddings. But then I realized, it's sort of like "Here Comes The Bride".  It's one of those things that will connect all of the couples who have finally gained the right to be married. (And it really kinda makes a gorgeous slideshow!) 

Wendy & Amelia's Wedding by Slidely - Slideshow maker

The Long Awaited Wedding Re-cap

And what perfect timing. Today is National Coming Out Day. Obviously, since this is a post full of pictures of our beautiful wedding, I'm "out", "jumping around outside the closet door folding rainbow origami flowers out". But maybe someone will see this, someone who isn't out, who hasn't felt safe, who is still questioning if coming into who you truly are is worth the pain and stress. The day that I sat at a table surrounded by a group of strangers in a therapy group and for the first time said, "I'm gay" was the day that I finally started to come into an authentic life. All I can say to you, darling Sisters and Brothers, is YES. Oh, God, Yes. It is worth it.

(Will update with a new photo gallery shortly!)

31 Days and Counting!

Here's the deal my friends. We've spent the last month or so getting caught up on all of the big wedding tasks; making favors, designing programs, mailing invites, finishing centerpieces, collecting RSVPs. It's been wedding planning central around here.

Unfortunately, that has really left the housework on the back burner. And now I've come to discover that I'm in way over my head with getting this place organized and cleaned up for company to arrive! Like really over my head! And I have a housekeeper coming to do all the really deep cleaning on August 19, which is only 26 days away.

So, I'm setting myself up with a challenge. Get this house shipshape! I spent the morning gathering various "clean your house in 30 days" lists from around the internet. And let me tell you, there are about a million; Laura's Crafty Life, Fresh and Organized, Apartment Therapy, Mommy Savers, 31 Days to Clean, Cindy Riddle's 30 Day Cleaning Schedule.  Like I said, tons of options. Since there is no list that will work for every home and because I'd like to shorten the time frame to three weeks, I picked through the lists and developed a list that will work for me.

The plan is a minimum of four items a day, though I have a feeling on some days when I get into the swing of cleaning, I'll do far more than four. But this at least gives us a detailed checklist to use.