Quaking In My Boots

I'm a pretty strong woman. If you've ever met me, know my story, know who I am, you know that I'm awfully hardy.  I'm sweet and soft and kind and compassionate. And I'm tough as nails.

But here I am about to approach what I am finding is the scariest thing I have done in a very, very long time. We're making a baby. The Wife and I have been talking a lot about how much of the process we should share with the world. Not because we're shy, but because we don't want to be that couple that over-shares everything.

I'm a little bit scared, because I've been labeled "infertile" before. When I was married to my ex-husband, he had what was essentially a zero sperm count. Anything below 15 million sperm is considered a low count. My ex had less than 500,000. So, technically, my ex was infertile, but I was the one that had to go through all of the treatments. There's not a lot out there to fix a zero sperm count. So, our option was insemination. When you combine that with my polycystic ovaries, and our chances were very, very minimal. We tried naturally for over two years, and then did 2 inseminations with ovulatory drugs, and failed every single time. Each time I got my period, I was pretty sure my heart was being torn out of my chest. I am fairly certain it was the beginning of the end of our marriage.

I met The Wife. I fell head over heels in love. She and I began talking about babies fairly early on in our relationship. We knew it was something we both wanted, though I really wanted to be married and settled in before we started putting a lot of energy into knocking me up. But now we're married and we're very settled. We have a wonderful relationship. We live in a neighborhood we love. The Wife has a fantastic job. I am in a position where I can continue to work occasionally and be at home to care for a child.  We're ready.  It's definitely time!   

But I'm so scared! And I know I'm going to need support and I'm going to need to vent. I will absolutely continue to link to my blog posts on Facebook, but I'm going to try to keep the baby making crazy contained just to my blog so that my friends who could care less about this process don't have to read it. 

So, how can you support us? Honest, I don't know. I do know the things that hurt when I hear them (and believe me, we've already started hearing them).

Things NOT To Say When Your Gay Friends are Making Babies

You can always adopt or foster. 

It will happen when it is supposed to happen. 

Maybe it isn't meant to be. 

Aren't you afraid of multiples?!?!

Have you tried XYZ method of increasing fertility? My second cousin twice removed did that and got pregnant right away!

You can just keep trying. 

It was hard for me and Mr. Me, but we just kept having sex and it happened.

Every time my husband looks at me, I get pregnant.

Why don't you just go have a one night stand? 

Who will the father be? Do you know what the father looks like? 

What will The Wife be to your baby?